18 months

I know it is a little early (Nick is 18 months next Lucky Friday the 13th - but it is something that has been on my mind alot lately).

I thought that 18 months would make me excited. I thought it would be a happy age, a good landmark. It has always been one of those ages for me, the ones you look back and gauge things against.

I was warned.

I was warned that 18 months is a hard time for us parents.

It marks a time when some of the motor deficits become very obvious. When I see Nick pulling himself along on the floor and all the other kids his age are running around. Not just taking tentative, shaky steps, but running, everywhere. I remember Katheryn at that age (just before I had Nick), and he is nowhere near where she was, in so many areas!

I need a new mantra, I need to remember that this is not a race, it is not a contest. Nick will do things in his own time, but he will do them.

And by comparing him to other kids at 18 months isn't going to do any of us any good.

But I just can't help it some days.

I was invited to get together with some moms from my babyville mom and baby group. The last time I saw most of them, was when Nick was 1 year old. And yes some kids were walking and standing, but not all of them. This get-together, I was working and wasn't able to go. I am very glad I wasn't able to go. I realized later that how different Nick would be from these kids. How delayed he would look. How sad it would have made me (and how sad it makes me now). And it makes me sad that I'm glad I didn't go. (Yes, I know, I can't really win with myself!)

I hate thinking of Nick in those terms. different, delayed, disabled. Those are not words that I want to use to describe my beautiful, happy boy. These are words that I can forget when I stay in my little Nickolas bubble. Where Nick is making great big strides, working hard (harder than he wants) and making progress. Meterstones.

Our current working goal is getting him stronger
lying to sitting. So basic, and we are still working on it!
AND we still haven't been picked back up from Grandview! (For PT).

Oh yeah, and today at our SB mom and baby group I realized that Nick will probably need a wheelchair as a child. (Even if just for distance, like the zoo or Canada's Wonderland). Which shouldn't make me upset, it is something to give him control and independence. But I'm still a little raw about it. Even though I shouldn't be surprised - and we aren't anywhere near to needing it now.

So we are hitting the 18 month mark a little grumpy. A little depressed. A little sad.
I don't want my baby to grow up. Can't he stay the same age for a little longer and then catch up? Let the Nick timeline and the calender timeline sync just a little?

 At the same time, I know that today I might be sad. Today I might be under my own little rain cloud. But tomorrow Nick will do something fantastic and the sun will shine again. And Nick doesn't think that there is anything wrong with some rain!

BTW - the pictures are from our trip to the Toronto Zoo on Easter weekend.

Nick's new wheels!

Nick got himself some shiny new (plastic) wheels for Easter!
It's some kind of smart trike? It's good for kids 8 months and up. It comes with a complete 5 point harness and a bar around them. As well as a parent handle, sun shade and a bar to rest their feet. It is a 3 stage system.
Nick is obviously not ready for an actual trike, but Katheryn has her trike and I really wanted something for him to be in too.
One day I was at store and saw these things!
PERFECT!

So now he's up like a big boy, in his big-boy bike! (And mommy doesnt' have to worry about him losing balance and falling off).


Katheryn was helping him with his feet (they aren't long enough to reach the peddles yet - and I don't think he'd know what to do if they were - but there is a bar to rest his feet on).

And the parent handle maybe should be a 'Katheryn handle'. She loves pushing him around in it too!
"Nick wants his bike"

Of course Nick is already getting into some dangerous driving behavior! I think his sister is a bad influence!

Drinking and driving !

Street (Hall) racing!

That feeling...

I have that feeling. That feeling that all is well and good in the world.

I think it is a combination of the beautiful weather I sometimes can catch between the rain clouds. That Nick is on track and doing some work and we are seeing progress, Katheryn is blooming into a big girl, and I haven't been too crazy busy. Oh and we've been essentially illness-free for the last month or so!

But here it is.
Happiness.

The belief that everything is right in the world and that we are right where we are supposed to be.

Too often sometimes I write about things that are bothering me, as an outlet for the negatives of spina bifida (or just life in general). But here I am, here we are. In a really good place.

I don't really know what has changed, probably nothing. Yes we still has the issues we will always have (constipation, worry about the future, fitting PT in daily life, fights with insurance companies, sleeping, eating, cooking, ect).

I've also been working on my Spirit Wheel Walk Run and have been spreading information about spina bifida and showing off my beautiful kid! I've actually had a couple people say - he doesn't look like he has spina bifida. EXACTLY!

It gives me a great feeling.

But today, right now and for the foreseeable future - we are perfect, we are happy, we are here.

(and fyi - that is a sunburn that Nick has on his face - bad mommy didn't even realize the sun can burn in April! I had one too)

Hoppy Easter!

 We enjoyed our Easter weekend with some bunny sightings and egg collection. And of course lots of family and more family time!
It was great!

Just monkeying around!

True to form, Nickolas decided to show off while Mommy was busy at work this week.

Video, I am sure, will come. But Nick said his first word!

MAMA!

Very clear. So clear, I was out of the room, and I thought it was Katheryn who had said it!

Also true to form, Nick has been very stubborn that he refuses to say it again on command. (I should know better than command a Ridding to do anything!).

Nick has also started to pick up some baby sign language. Something we've only been working on for a couple of weeks. Kyle and I are not very good at doing it. But hope to work more on it through the next month or so.
We didn't push it when he was younger because he wasn't that interested in using his finger or hands. But working on OT cleared all of that. So I thought it was time to try to see what we can all do together.

Look at the pictures, I just noticed that we keep putting things on his head - and then he keeps trying to take it off! But it looks so cute!!

We'll just rock out in the meantime...

Coming soon - information about our yearly Spirit Wheel Walk Run for spina bifida.

June 18 - everyone is welcome!