Finding a balance

I'm having a hard time some days to find a balance.

Since Nickolas has turned 3 I have found him to be (and I feel like a horrible mom to write this) a winy kid. He doesn't want to go up the stairs, he doesn't want to sit on the potty, he doesn't want to crawl, he doesn't like anything wet on his skin, he wants to be in this seat, or that seat, he wants his sister, he wants his mommy, he wants his daddy.
Nickolas has found his voice and know what he wants, and what he wants is to say no.
A lot.

At first I was thinking maybe this is shunt irritability? But it's not something that happens suddenly or all day, in between all of these no's he is happy and smiling and laughing and a great kid.
But I'm finding it a little bit difficult. I need to balance between listening to his voice and wishes/wants and letting him know that he can make choices, while helping him to grow. Maybe I'm expecting too much from 3 years old.

I don't remember 3 years old being like this with Katheryn. At 3 Katheryn would be having a meltdown and I could talk her down. It was great. I liked 3.
Nickolas went into a whole hyperventilating meltdown the other night because he couldn't have a lollipop before bed. I had to leave him on the bed to calm down because telling him 'no' only made it worse. He kept crying "I don't want mommy to say no to me" in between catching his breath.

All of that is just behavior, age, maturity I think. I can't compare Katheryn at 3 with Nickolas at 3, that's not fair.
Nickolas will get a time out when he is naughty, when he needs to calm down. But he isn't generally naughty and doesn't need many time-outs. Katheryn definitely wins that count hands-down.

But it's not just the tantrums. He's a kid, kids have tantrums.

But now I need to find a balance with mobility issues.
Nick doesn't want to crawl up the stairs. He wants to be carried. He used to love climbing the stairs with Katheryn, half the time he'd be up before we even knew he'd gone anywhere.
We readjusted our family room so he is able to walk and cruise around pretty much the whole room. That's where he wants to be. It's a step down and his walking doesn't fit so we haven't been using his walker a lot in the house. He doesn't want to walk up and down the hall in a line with his walker.
Sometimes I don't know what to do.

In the evening Nickolas wants to be with me all the time, it's hard on him when I go off and work nights, or I'm on a long stretch of shifts. Just tonight he was standing in the family room, crying for me to come and get him. I was ignoring him. Not answering him when he was crying that he wants me.
Trying to get him to come to me.

I feed into this, I know. I need to work on it. It is easier for me to carry Nickolas down the stairs in the morning and put him in his seat for breakfast. But I'm missing a prime opportunity for him to move himself, just because in the morning we always have time constraints.
I think this has to be a goal for me, and for him.

Because I really need to find a balance. I feel that we are in a rut at home.

The W word

Our physio, Melissa, first used the W yesterday during another good PT session.
So what exactly is the ‘w’ word? Most people have guessed walk. Almost. We talked about when he will be ready for a walker. What steps we are doing to reach that goal. But we have that goal in sight!

Nick has done so much in the last month. Was it really only a month ago that he first stood up?! And now we are talking about walking!

I have had a timeline in my head. Our old PT once told me that he wouldn’t be ready until he was 3! That completely blew me away. What will he do to move around until then? He’ll just crawl or be carried? If that is the case, shouldn’t we look at alternative modes of transportation (yes – read wheelchair). But that is also going too far. What is in the middle.

I think she told me 3, so that I didn’t get my hopes up, and of course that was months ago, when he wasn’t weight bearing or anything! Try to balance reasonable expectations with possibilities. And lots of room to be surprised.

My timeline has never included the number 3. Wait until he's 3 - no way!!! Two, two years old was my goal to have a walker. But really I can have my goal, PT can have their goals. What really matters is what Nick's goals are.
I think Nick has a completely different goal in mind.

Nick has standing down pat. He pulls himself up from a seat (usually my lap because it is the right height) and he'll stand there for about 20 minutes.

We are starting on getting him moving. Baby steps.


First we shift weight back and forth.
Then we put all his favorite toys on one side or the other side, to get him to reach for them.
When he's reaching for them (and oblivious to everything else) we shift his weight to the opposite leg of where we want him to go, which takes his weight off the foot we want him to move. And we see what he will do.

This will get him cruising. After cruising we see what he will do when he's not up against the couch (just holding around his chest or hips), as if he is in his standing frame, but being held. And get him to realize that those things are the bottom of his legs are not just for holding socks!