While we were away Nick went through an attitude adjustment.
I'm not quite sure why or what triggered it.
He has turned into a little monster. And not in a cute way.
A "I hate you mommy" and "I hit you on purpose, Ha!" evil kind of way.
He will just get so wrapped up in being evil and mean and it spirals out of control.
It's not just me, it was directed at Kyle and Katheryn as well (but I felt I got more of the "I hate you's").
He won't stay in place for a time-out, he crawls away and laughs and continues to say how much he hates us. Putting him by himself makes him scream. We found that wrapping him up burrito-style in a blanket, with him arms helped to calm him down.
The last day on our trip, in the bathroom, I'm crouching in front of him cathing him in his chair and he is saying "I hate you", "I hate you", and he pulled back and punched me in the face.
I was not happy.
I brought him back to were we were waiting and he had to stand with his face in the chair until he was calm enough and ready to apologize.
It has continued to some extend while we have been home.
Regular time-outs are not working.
Putting him in his room seem to be the answer, except he screams that he doesn't want to be alone.
But he is ready to be nice and apologize quicker.
I'm not quite sure what the trigger was, but I'm hoping now that we are settling back into our home routine it will get better.
Apparently in school and daycare he remains the cute little boy.
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tantrums. Show all posts
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Finding a balance
I'm having a hard time some days to find a balance.
Since Nickolas has turned 3 I have found him to be (and I feel like a horrible mom to write this) a winy kid. He doesn't want to go up the stairs, he doesn't want to sit on the potty, he doesn't want to crawl, he doesn't like anything wet on his skin, he wants to be in this seat, or that seat, he wants his sister, he wants his mommy, he wants his daddy.
Nickolas has found his voice and know what he wants, and what he wants is to say no.
A lot.
At first I was thinking maybe this is shunt irritability? But it's not something that happens suddenly or all day, in between all of these no's he is happy and smiling and laughing and a great kid.
But I'm finding it a little bit difficult. I need to balance between listening to his voice and wishes/wants and letting him know that he can make choices, while helping him to grow. Maybe I'm expecting too much from 3 years old.
I don't remember 3 years old being like this with Katheryn. At 3 Katheryn would be having a meltdown and I could talk her down. It was great. I liked 3.
Nickolas went into a whole hyperventilating meltdown the other night because he couldn't have a lollipop before bed. I had to leave him on the bed to calm down because telling him 'no' only made it worse. He kept crying "I don't want mommy to say no to me" in between catching his breath.
All of that is just behavior, age, maturity I think. I can't compare Katheryn at 3 with Nickolas at 3, that's not fair.
Nickolas will get a time out when he is naughty, when he needs to calm down. But he isn't generally naughty and doesn't need many time-outs. Katheryn definitely wins that count hands-down.
But it's not just the tantrums. He's a kid, kids have tantrums.
But now I need to find a balance with mobility issues.
Nick doesn't want to crawl up the stairs. He wants to be carried. He used to love climbing the stairs with Katheryn, half the time he'd be up before we even knew he'd gone anywhere.
We readjusted our family room so he is able to walk and cruise around pretty much the whole room. That's where he wants to be. It's a step down and his walking doesn't fit so we haven't been using his walker a lot in the house. He doesn't want to walk up and down the hall in a line with his walker.
Sometimes I don't know what to do.
In the evening Nickolas wants to be with me all the time, it's hard on him when I go off and work nights, or I'm on a long stretch of shifts. Just tonight he was standing in the family room, crying for me to come and get him. I was ignoring him. Not answering him when he was crying that he wants me.
Trying to get him to come to me.
I feed into this, I know. I need to work on it. It is easier for me to carry Nickolas down the stairs in the morning and put him in his seat for breakfast. But I'm missing a prime opportunity for him to move himself, just because in the morning we always have time constraints.
I think this has to be a goal for me, and for him.
Because I really need to find a balance. I feel that we are in a rut at home.
Since Nickolas has turned 3 I have found him to be (and I feel like a horrible mom to write this) a winy kid. He doesn't want to go up the stairs, he doesn't want to sit on the potty, he doesn't want to crawl, he doesn't like anything wet on his skin, he wants to be in this seat, or that seat, he wants his sister, he wants his mommy, he wants his daddy.
Nickolas has found his voice and know what he wants, and what he wants is to say no.
A lot.
At first I was thinking maybe this is shunt irritability? But it's not something that happens suddenly or all day, in between all of these no's he is happy and smiling and laughing and a great kid.
But I'm finding it a little bit difficult. I need to balance between listening to his voice and wishes/wants and letting him know that he can make choices, while helping him to grow. Maybe I'm expecting too much from 3 years old.
I don't remember 3 years old being like this with Katheryn. At 3 Katheryn would be having a meltdown and I could talk her down. It was great. I liked 3.
Nickolas went into a whole hyperventilating meltdown the other night because he couldn't have a lollipop before bed. I had to leave him on the bed to calm down because telling him 'no' only made it worse. He kept crying "I don't want mommy to say no to me" in between catching his breath.
All of that is just behavior, age, maturity I think. I can't compare Katheryn at 3 with Nickolas at 3, that's not fair.
Nickolas will get a time out when he is naughty, when he needs to calm down. But he isn't generally naughty and doesn't need many time-outs. Katheryn definitely wins that count hands-down.
But it's not just the tantrums. He's a kid, kids have tantrums.
But now I need to find a balance with mobility issues.
Nick doesn't want to crawl up the stairs. He wants to be carried. He used to love climbing the stairs with Katheryn, half the time he'd be up before we even knew he'd gone anywhere.
We readjusted our family room so he is able to walk and cruise around pretty much the whole room. That's where he wants to be. It's a step down and his walking doesn't fit so we haven't been using his walker a lot in the house. He doesn't want to walk up and down the hall in a line with his walker.
Sometimes I don't know what to do.
In the evening Nickolas wants to be with me all the time, it's hard on him when I go off and work nights, or I'm on a long stretch of shifts. Just tonight he was standing in the family room, crying for me to come and get him. I was ignoring him. Not answering him when he was crying that he wants me.
Trying to get him to come to me.
I feed into this, I know. I need to work on it. It is easier for me to carry Nickolas down the stairs in the morning and put him in his seat for breakfast. But I'm missing a prime opportunity for him to move himself, just because in the morning we always have time constraints.
I think this has to be a goal for me, and for him.
Because I really need to find a balance. I feel that we are in a rut at home.
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