I wish things were simple. I wish I didn't worry. I wish I didn't spend half my time online looking up things Nick might have. I wish he was fine. I wish I could do something. I wish I didn't think of things Nickolas couldn't do. I wish I didn't worry about his shunt, his neck, his peeing, his pooping, his feet, his development. I wish, I wish, I wish!!! (feet stamping)
Ok now that that is out of my system. I'm thankful for my Nickolas, I'm thankful he is such a happy baby. I'm thankful he smiles and kicks and ha ha's and grabs at me. I'm thankful he is easy going. I am thankful he pees (especially when he pees on me). I'm thankful when he kicks at me. I'm thankful there is an internet I can learn so much from, and wonderful forums with supportive people. I'm thankful I have such a wonderful family that is so supportive. I'm thankful Nickolas is here with me. I'm thankful Katheryn loves him so much, that we all love him so much. I'm thankful, thankful, thankful.
So I balance between wishing for things I can't change and thankful for what I have. Apparently Nickolas has made me philosophical. I can wish for things to be perfect all I want, but perfect is what I make it. Sometimes I think life is so perfect, we are right where we are supposed to be. Other times I'm upset things didn't work out as planned, that I can't have 'normal' worries my parent had, that I'm not carefree. Luckily I'm in my 'happy place' more often then not.
What brought this all on? I've had a couple of worries this past couple weeks.