Sometimes when your whole world circles spina bifida you need to step back and take care of yourself.
Thinking about spina bifida, blogging about it, reading about it, surfing/foruming about it. Let alone the actually living spina bifida that becomes second nature. The medications, diet concerns, cathing, daily physio ect. It's what we do, it's what we love, it becomes our life and we don't complain. We would (and do) everything for our child.
But we need to take care of ourselves as well. How can you take care of your child and your family when you don't take care of yourself.
I do take some me time. I have my blog, I have my journal. I have my time that I'm at work. But I was still feeling stretched really thin!
I had really, really, really wanted to go to California for the Spina Bifida Conference this coming weekend. I asked for the week off, my parents were going to go with the kids and me, we were looking at hotel rates and Disney rates.
But it was not to be.
In February we decided that it wasn't a good time to take a vacation. The kids were still too young, they wouldn't have fun, it would be very stressful. So I decided that 2011 was not the conference year for us.
And I decided to do something for myself.
You see, I was not happy with my weight. In fact, I was very, very unhappy with it. My knees hurt, it bothered me to carry Nick up and down the stairs. I stepped on the scale and realized that I weighed the same amount as when I was 6-7 months pregnant with Nickolas. And THAT WAS IT! I was done.
No more fighting with my weight. I was going to do something about it.
And I did. I committed to a program, generally stuck to it and saw results. (Herbal Magic - great support, concentrate on fresh food and minimal frozen foods, but expensive)
38 lbs and 37 inches later I am happy that I did something for me.
I am wearing clothes that I was afraid to throw out. I reached the bottom of my 'will fit into again' jeans pile! In fact, they are loose!
And today I did something I'd been thinking about for a long time. And was too chicken to do something about. And I feel so good about it. I feel young, I feel sexy (well, mommy sexy maybe).
I never realized why those weight loss BEFORE and AFTER pictures look so different. How can those be the same person? Look the hair is a different colour, length ect. Now I see it! It's not just a couple of pounds. It snowballs, one little change leads to another, and suddenly you are chopping off your hair and wearing a dress instead of sweatshirts and jeans! And liking it!
These pictures where taken today before and after I chopped all my hair off! AHHH!
I'm not saying that the key to happiness is to lose weight. And I'm not saying that I'm happy now because I've lost weight. Weight is not an issue.
It's more along the lines of doing something for myself.
Making myself feel better.
I hope you've got to the end of this post without thinking I'm bragging or showing off myself too much!
I would like to challenge all of my spina bifida mommies. Take a moment for yourself. Read a book, get a manicure, go shopping, eat something healthy or (eek!) exercise. But do it for yourself.
Spina bifida will NOT take over our lives.
And for all of those mom's who are in California for the conference! Have a fun, safe, stress-free vacation, meet new/old friends, and learn lots!
Relax on the beach for me! And give Mickey a hug!
I'll see you next year!!