First of all Kyle and I are great, so are the kids. So who am I 'talking' to? The shunt.
Don't call the men in the white coats to come and take me away... hee hee ha ha ... yet.
My other SB moms know what I'm talking about (I hope).
I feel a bit like I need to get over this. In the range of things that could happen (and will happen) a shunt revision is a walk in the park. (OK Maybe if that park is Regent Park at midnight!) But it just seems to have shaken me and what I thought I knew.
It was one thing I thought I had a handle on, one thing that I knew was there, but didn't really care. It was working, we'd had our year anniversary, we could breathe a little better. Hey I was even measuring his head only once a month! Now we are back to every day.
I guess I am just being naive that it's something I didn't have to worry about. Just one more thing I can stick my head in the sand about. Wow I'm full of metaphors today...
I am back to that gibbering mess where every little cry or sleep has me thinking SHUNT! OK I might be a little hard on myself here. But that is certainly what it is feeling like now. I feel like every day I'm thinking how spina bifida sucks, all my posts have been complaining and negative. Where is the positive?! Where is the hope and dream and this is not that bad! I guess it's there somewhere.
(FYI I put him there - he's not in the pulling up stage yet)
And I'm just not sure how to get past this. I guess time will tell. But what will happen in another 13 months? what will happen in 2 years (apparently the average age of a shunt)? Is there ever a time I can stop worrying about the shunt?! Worry about when it is going to fail us again. Stop trusting it!
So in honor of promoting a trusting relationship I am thinking of names. No I am not crazy. Men can name their ... um ... peter's (or at least tv says they can). So why can't I name Nick's shunt?
Except I am totally overthinking this! I have a couple of names in my head, but not 100% sure on them. It's not like it's something I have to imagine myself yelling "X time for dinner!"
What I've been thinking - considering this is shunt #2, is some B names. But I'm pretty boring, so I have Bob, Bert and Brian. I can totally imagine myself saying/thinking "Oh that Bert, is he acting up again?"
I'll say it again. I'm not crazy.